Jeremiah Rivera
Miss. B
English 101
10.27.10
Primary Thesis-Traditional Masculinity was the theme in 2009 in Maxim Magazine
Primary Sources
First Supporting Detail- men should work out to keep their body in shape.
Example-Article in Maxim Magazine encouraging not to take steroids to achieve fitness.
Support- In the article it says that men should work out and get a fit body “The old fashion way” instead of taking steroids.
Support- List all the negatives on taking steroids like acne and liver damage.
Analysis- Men should work hard to get into shape and to get what they want instead of taking the easy route.
Second Supporting Detail- Men are thought of as alcoholics and enjoy drinking
Example-Article in Maxim Jan.2009
Support-The article shows 99 of the best bottles of alcohol a man should drink
Support-
Analysis-Men are suppose to resort to the stereotypes that men love to drink and are alcoholics
Third Supporting Detail- Men are seen as the providers of the family
Example-Article in Maxim Magazine jan.2009
Support-in the article Ted Nugent hunts for his own food to bring home
Support-Being a former U.S. Marine helps him hunt
Analysis- He is seen as the dominant and the family depends on him
Fourth supporting Detail- Men should learn how to properly shave
Example-Maxim's Style Guide article from 11/6/09
support- Men should use a fresh blade
support-dont use alot of creams and oils when shaving
Analysis- Men should have a fresh and traditional look after the shave
Secondary Sources
First Supporting Detail- Masculinity is affected by ethnicity
Example-Article from the internet on ethnic belonging
Support-Ethnic belonging was the best predictor of traditional masculinity ideology.
Support-They have the dominance factor in common within all ethnicities.
Analysis-traditional male gender role endorsements were stronger and more consistant in European Americans
Second Supporting Detail-The idea of Masculinity impacts Adolescent Male’s in Heterosexual Relationships
Example-Article from the internet on impact of adolescents in heterosexual relationships
Support-The idea of unlimited heterosexual relationships
Support-Uninteded pregnancy and STD’s
Analysis-Heterosexual males with traditional additudes toward masculinity had more sexual partners and unprotected sex because it validated their masculinity
This is an effective thesis, with a claim portion of the thesis, and relevant main points for which you provide examples from primary sources. But you need to incorporate the secondary sources into the analysis of your four main points. Remember that the secondary sources must help you explain and analyze the main points, and should not be main points on their own. SO think about how the article on ethnicity fits with the main points on body image/working out and drinking? How does the article on how adolescent boys become men helps you explain the observations you are making about men hunting and men shaving?
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